Doubt

There are moments in life when you feel like you’ve hit a wall that you can’t cross. Thoughts start to form in your mind whether you can really do it. It’s in that moment that Doubts start to form. Doubts about yourself, about the mistakes you’ve done, all the people you’ve disappointed, the pressure of not being a disappointment again.

I’ve been feeling like this recently, I have a lot of goals and commitment and I want to succeed in every single one of them but lately I’ve been having a lot of doubts about myself.

Should I really commit to all these things? Will I be capable or will I end up creating more problems and disappoint more people?

I know I could do a lot of things but I find myself being unable to execute immediately. It feels like I’m being dragged by my doubts back towards inaction. Doubt paralyzes.

So what do I do?

I enjoy it.

Yes, it may sound silly to enjoy moments of doubting yourself and being paralyzed by the seemingly huge tasks ahead but think about it! What else should I do? I am here, present and alive at this moment. I am feeling what I’m feeling! I feel small and weak and incapable. And yet I stand my ground. I accept that I am here, and I dare say that I do enjoy it.

If this is the cost of dreaming big dreams then so be it. I am going to enjoy the process and the moment. I will count it all joy. I will enjoy my process.

What my mind can’t conceive right now, I know elsewhere that I can. My spirit knows, it knows what victory means. Although my mind, heart and my whole body feels like it wants to give up, it is my spirit that is unceasingly reaching out towards the light. Those things that I’m fighting for.

Now let’s talk about Faith

Faith is not the absence of doubt. It is a state where we accept doubt but not overcome by it. Faith is a ladder by which we can choose to climb out of doubt.

Faith is being able to see just enough of the bridge to believe you can cross.

Faith is like crossing a bridge that is hidden by a fog. You choose to cross while believing that the bridge is there even if you don’t see it all. It is not blind trust or naivety. You still see part of the bridge and although you don’t see everything, you focus on the things that makes you believe you can make it. Faith is being able to see just enough of the bridge to believe you can cross.

In the middle of all my self doubt, it amazes me how the human spirit works in that even when faced with crumpling doubt and anxiety, it chooses to see light and hope. The human spirit has the ability to choose belief over doubt in the face of overwhelming odds.

The impossible will only be possible when we choose to climb over our doubts with faith. So if you’re like me and you feel like the odds are stacked against you with doubt pressing it’s ugly face into yours then face it head on, stack your ladder against it and start climbing!